#ForeverDuncan The Love Story that Revitalized the Hearts of Black America

If you haven’t already seen #ForverDuncan on Instagram and Twitter than it’s probably because you’re not ready to tear up from an overwhelming feeling of love and excitement.  #ForeverDuncan flooded social media as Alfred Duncan planned a surprise proposal and wedding for his now wife, Sherrell Duncan. Black love is beautiful and witnessing the progression of these their special day is inspiring as a young black woman in search of real love.

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For the surprise proposal Sherrell was guided into a private room full of family and friends where Alfred held a ring on one knee. After the proposal Sherrell was whisked away on errands that her then fiance’ had already planned. Little did Sherrell know that she would be in her wedding dress with her hair, nails and makeup done to walk down the aisle six hours later. After entering the church Sherrell could barely stand at the beginning of the aisle she jumped for joy while simultaneously breaking down in tears. Her husband-to-be had not only proposed in front of her close family and friends, but he also planned their entire wedding: rented the venue, hired a singer, invited their relatives, designed ascreen-shot-2016-10-04-at-8-43-23-pm custom dress, her hair, her makeup, all for her. This is the type of love that we all crave for ourselves and seeing it happen for this man and woman is a warm reminder for us all.

A union between a black man and woman represents a special bond. As property, Blacks were not allowed to marry as slaves. Even in cases were unions were held between Blacks on plantations ‘jumping the broom’ was the only method of acknowledging their union, without recognition from the state.  This is a tradition we still honor today. Vows between slaves included phrases like “Till death or circumstances part us”. This was because slave trading threatened black families  and our ability to bond and form relationships for centuries.

Even today as black men are demasculated and criminalized by the media, systems and structures in American society continue to threaten black marriages, families and black people’s ability overall to form and hold strong relationships. For example constant attacks on black men by the state greatly inhibits the strength of black families. Without fathers being able to provide for their families, and teach their sons how to provide for their families, black family structures will continue to suffer.
Children with incarcerated parents have a higher risk of being incarcerated themselves. Daughters of single mothers have a higher risk of becoming single mother’s themselves. My grandmothers on both my mother and father’s side were unmarried single mothers. My mother raised me as an unmarried single mother. What are my chances of doing the same? This isn’t a blame game, this is the identification of a vicious cycle that has been maintained by oppressive systems within this nation. Black people do not give up on love and happiness just because of the circumstances around us. Steve Harvey even gives a shout out to Duncan, encouraging black men to, like Duncan, go above and beyond to demonstrate their love for the women in their life.

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The Duncan Wedding was beautiful because it represents are resilience, our ability to succeed against all odds. Love is the hardest to define and yet the most powerful of human emotions. Black love represents and enhances are empowerment and resiliency, this is why we celebrate it. Black love represents determination and growth. Black love is real love, love between the original man and woman.

#ForeverDuncan

Watch the proposal and the surprise wedding below

 

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